When you wake up at 4:37am squashed in the corner of the bed by a dribbling man, as if that’s not dramatic enough only to look over his shoulder as see the whole rest of the bed empty! Empty! That’s perfectly good space over there that’s being wasted.
You consider climbing over him to what looks like luxury space, but realise the drooler will only follow you.
As you lay there with half your body underneath a hairy leg, thinking maybe the couples in the 1950s had the right idea with separate beds on other sides of the room, you just have to accept your life and try to go back to sleep.
It’s just a little sleep affection after all.